Thursday, May 3, 2012

Day Dreaming in a Cubicle - Mid Life Ramblings

I work in a cubicle. I have, for many years, worked in cubicles all over Seattle. I do not like the term "cubicle farm" because if this is a farm then this is a form of H E Double Hockey sticks.

I am currently AT work, mind you it is break-time, but I am here. Was this what I had hoped to do with my life during my youth? Nah.

I had hoped to homestead in the wilds of Alaska, the back country of Montana or the plains of Oklahoma, my closest neighbors a canoe ride and a days hike down river. Living off the land and my wits... (I feel like I should burst into the Monty Python's Lumberjack Song right about now.) But I never did, I still live off the land, my tiny .25 acre of a yard, and wits, I am pretty darn charming. But my days of homesteading in secluded locations may no longer be viable.

So instead, I sit behind this desk attempting to make ends meet and live a somewhat contented life, Some days I am happy and productive. Some days I feel unfulfilled and trapped. I do not have the luxury of leaving everything behind me and living a life unencumbered. And maybe I really do not want to, many people have done more with less and gone onto live their dream lives.

Consider if the life you lead was the life you expected to have as a child... I remember riding the bus home and looking at all the suits heading into work in the morning thinking "I'm never gonna be like that, man!" Now I am. I am still eccentric enough to not be a pure suit, but I am a suit none-the-less.

I have always been one of those people who like to see things progress. Meaning, I like to watch as things grow or get clean or turn into jam or a lawn turn into a garden bed. Working as a public servant, I do not get to enjoy the joys of seeing something progress very often. In fact, I talk to the same people with the same problem every day. Sometime I work hard to fix the issue just to have the same people call back with the exact same problem a month later. It can be frustrating.

Do not get me wrong, I enjoy my job. It isn't my dream job, but I have had worse jobs and when I did have my dream job I could barely survive. But I am always impressed with those who make a living doing what they truly enjoy. There is something very satisfying about working hard, playing hard and going to bed tired.

I am still relatively young. I am sure that I will have my country life. I just wish it would come a little faster.

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