I have an anxiety disorder and there are days that I can only get as far as the front gate. My garden is the best place for me. It gives me comfort and I work hard and I feel like I belong. Today seems to be that day. But the garden is as far as I need to go today.
I am good enough to get into the yard today. That means I am working in getting the garden cleaned up. Because of my anxiety, I have been lax in taking care of my garden over autumn and winter. And I have been lax in documenting my garden's waxes and wanes.
I have allowed it to grow wild which I am sure the neighbors are just oh so pleased with.
I have spent the morning yanking weeds and moving plants from one place to another and planting Caladium corms and peas.
Working the dirt is a visceral and reassuring feeling for me. I know that soon I will have vegetables to eat and flowers that hum with bees. My neighbors will give me less dirty looks and I will feel like I have accomplish something.
It also gives me an opportunity to try to talk to people who wander by and say hello. When you have anxiety, talking to people can sometimes be a nearly impossible task. Being in a place that I am comfortable, my garden, makes it easier to interact and reduce the anxiety.
This garden is my happy place and watching it getting slowly cleaned and ready for the spring makes me happy and comforts me. Planting the seeds and knowing that in 90 days I should have peas to shell and freeze.
I have so many big plans for the back yard this year. Expanding the patio, fix the back fence and the chicken coop and building a tiki bar. Eventually, I might get a small hot-tub.
The vegetable garden will have peas and spinach, onions, lettuce. Still have some kale that over wintered, but they are coming to the end. I still have canned carrots from last year as well as green beans so I think I will avoid those. June bearing strawberries are perking up and I still have three beds to consider.
I have tomato'd and potato'd all the beds so I will avoid nightshades for the next couple of seasons. So many things to consider, but for now, I am content in just weeding and enjoying the gorgeous Seattle day.
It seems to help the sane.
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